chuck norris

Started by jeepfan1974, September 11, 2009, 07:58:17 PM

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jeepfan1974

September 11, 2009, 07:58:17 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Let\'s go wheeling!

jeepfan1974

#1
September 11, 2009, 08:03:14 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.


There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.


Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.


There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
f you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.  
  There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.  
   Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.  
  Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.  
  Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.  
  Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.  
  Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.  
  Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Let\'s go wheeling!

4x4x4JK

#2
September 11, 2009, 09:29:21 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
At night the boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

LPM606

#3
September 12, 2009, 09:55:00 AM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightl light because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris...

If at first you don't succeed, then you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has counted to infiniti and back.

Chuck Norris Ordered a big mac at burger king, and they gave hime one...

Chuck Norris let the dogs out...

I love these... Anyone else got some?

jeepfan1974

#4
September 12, 2009, 12:54:06 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
Chuck norris CAN touch MC hammer
Let\'s go wheeling!

jeepfan1974

#5
September 12, 2009, 12:56:06 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
Chuck norris can shake hands with a band sawq
Let\'s go wheeling!

LPM606

#6
September 12, 2009, 05:18:43 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
The badnsaw one is too funny... an "inside joke" if ever there was one.

How about...

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people, he makes dead people.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin' about.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes Killing.

longarm

#7
September 15, 2009, 09:39:08 AM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
Ohh ya, Jack Bauer can kick Chuck Norris's butt!
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"I do not wish for my enemies to be brought to justice, I instead would like to see justice brought to my enemies..."

jeepfan1974

#8
September 17, 2009, 09:58:42 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
never heard of him   ::poke::
      Chuck norris is a martial arts star, winning many martial arts championships including being a six-time undefeated World Professional MiddleWeight Karate Champion. Chuck was also a renowned teacher in the martial arts. Some of his students were Steve McQueen, Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley and Donnie & Marie Osmond.

From 1964 to 1968, Chuck won many State, National, and International amateur karate titles. In 1968, Chuck fought and won the World Professional MiddleWeight Karate championships by defeating the World's Top Fighters. He held that title until 1974 when he retired undefeated.
Let\'s go wheeling!

longarm

#9
September 18, 2009, 01:47:30 AM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
I don't care what you say, Jack Bauer was a government trained Special Forces Spook.  He can kill you just by thinking it.  Plus, he has been tortured several times and survived.  I actually heard that he kicked Chucks butt once................... ::ouch::
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"I do not wish for my enemies to be brought to justice, I instead would like to see justice brought to my enemies..."

TechJeeper

#10
September 18, 2009, 08:56:11 AM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
I had to look this one up, and Google says Chuck Noris would win in a fight.

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?la ... Jack+Bauer

jeepfan1974

#11
September 18, 2009, 01:55:21 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
jeeze mitch chill this is supposed to be a light hearted post  i like chuck but i dont really think he is the baddest man alive     well maybee i do  :D  he is one of my childhood heros
Let\'s go wheeling!

longarm

#12
September 18, 2009, 08:54:26 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
I was kidding Paul!  I have always liked Chuck Norris, even when Bruce Lee broke his neck in that movie.   ::poke::   You know I love you man.   ::gay::
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"I do not wish for my enemies to be brought to justice, I instead would like to see justice brought to my enemies..."

jeepfan1974

#13
September 19, 2009, 02:25:12 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
Let\'s go wheeling!

ricochet1987

#14
December 03, 2009, 06:23:08 PM Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest
J.E.E.P= Just Each and Every Paycheck!!!
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